My perception always used to be ‘Nobody was perfect, until you fall in love with them’. Until last year, this very day as per my perception I was PERFECT. Never ever had I agreed that Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. But bet me on this that the most toughest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else. But what I realized with this “happening” with me was life's short, If you don't look around once in a while, you might miss it. Don't let the past hold you back you may miss the good stuff.
There goes a saying “first impression is the last impression” to which I used to not take seriously, After all it was all a saying. The first faint look of yours did not impress me to that extent where I would have said “ohh! I want my children from you”. But yes! This I surely had known that you would certainly affect my life.
My first reaction when I met with the truth about the best* thing that you did to me made me restless, I thought that was the worst of dream I was having. I was unable to console myself, I couldn’t even think that you actually had dumped me for someone else. Those days I must confront were the toughest days of my life. Even the rough hard terrace floor felt so comfortable to lie and weep on. And the most weirdest part was to hold on a smiling face across the dining table and sneak chappatis in my pockets as the digestive system also seemed to mourn at my loss. But challenging mother was not a good idea as you can fool some of the people all the time and all the people sometime but you cant fool your mother. She read my eyes (off course not the Hindi movie types). But believe me she was better than many of the fortune tellers I have come across. The moment I had anticipated she had known what had happened I definitely had better options than my terrace floor. Earlier the whole time I had felt rejected but now it felt as if the whole of the universe was with me. She poured the required strength in me. I remember I had screamed at her, that the girl in my life was no less than an angel and that she understood me best, off course better than the rest. The relation was so pure, hers and mine. It was beautiful somewhat divine. Even there were thoughts of moving out if my love was not accepted. Am very happy, off course that you are happy and satisfied (as am not that selfish). But am more happy today than yesterday cause I have lived up to mu families expectations. The culture that they had sown in me can be seen sprouting today. I am happy that I have succeeded and am thankful to you that you did the best thing that you could have done(and yes those friends of yours, I wish them good luck and must say you have best of pals and I thank god I don’t have one such).
I cant help but remember the past, when mom used to get so stressed up on my deeds, that she used to wail at me,time and again. She never stopped crying at me and I would not stop but you know the best part ‘she loved me,so she never rejected me.’
It would be wrong to deny the fact that, there was a time when I thought that without you the world means nothing, I was compelled to think again “I meant the world to someone else”.Still lost at my history I could feel a tear drop make a splash on my forehead when I realized for a fact that it was not me alone who felt for “me”. I hugged her said sorry. She held me close and said something as if nothing had happened, I was so at peace. No matter what, I want to say thank you for the impression you made that will stay with me for eternity.
I do ask god at times, why are humans left confused at each step of life? why isn’t it simple? Even if my questions are never answered , there is one thing I want you to know, I have been blessed by the effect my best of people had on me in that moment in time. When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there. Here in this part of the world they still love me and you said you loved “me”!!!
